
This quote just jumped out at me recently:
“While the world seemed to be whispering ‘you’re not quite enough’ into my ears, you might have felt like you heard ‘you’re just a bit too much.’”
Holley Gerth, Fierce-Hearted
I’ve always been “too much.” People say it with a loving smile and shake of their head, with fond laughter and little teasing pokes… but they say it.
I’ve always been too much.
But I’ve always been not enough too. People said it with eye rolls and huffed breath and irritated words and sharp criticism.
Not enough in personality.
Too caring.
Not tough enough.
Too credulous.
Not smart enough.
Too sensitive.
Not strong enough.
Too pathetic.
Not brave enough.
Too anxious.
Not good enough.
Not enough in school.
Too wordy.
Not brief enough.
Too literary.
Not mathy enough.
Too detailed.
Not sharp-eyed enough.
Too confused.
Not smart enough.
Too weepy.
Not commonsensical enough.
Not enough in body.
Too pimpled.
Not pretty enough.
Too fat.
Not tall enough.
Too broad-featured.
Not classy enough.
Too weak.
Not tough enough.
Not enough in writing.
Too emotional.
Not realistic enough.
Too old-fashioned.
Not fast-paced enough.
Too unusual.
Not simple enough.
Too focussed on me.
Not generic enough.
Too sad and heavy.
Not light enough.
Too narrow-minded.
Too trusting.
Too obedient.
Too anxious to do right.
Too desirous to help.
Too emotional.
Too lazy.
Too stressed.
Too people-pleasing.
Too foolish.
Not good enough.
I’m tired of not being enough.
My journey isn’t enough.
I’ve taken too long.
My lessons aren’t enough.
I should have learned more.
My strengths aren’t enough.
I have too many flaws.
My stories aren’t enough.
I just want attention.
My spirituality isn’t enough.
I’m a show-off goody-goody and a very weak Christian.
Not enough.
Always not enough.
Critiqued.
Despised.
Mocked.
Disliked.
Patronized.
Lectured.
Rejected.
I’m not enough.
Because I care.
It all started because I cared.
Because I cared about people.
And they didn’t like me.
And I cared too much they didn’t care.
And I’ve tried to be enough.
And never was.
So I only got worse.
And I hurt people who care because I care about other people who don’t care.
And I’m less than not enough.
I’m tired of not being enough.
I’m tired of caring.
I’m tired of fighting.
I’m tired of journeying.
I’m tired of being different.
If I was enough,
People would like me.
If I was more like them,
People wouldn’t reject me.
If I was stronger,
People wouldn’t despise me.
And I would be enough.
And I wouldn’t need Jesus.
I guess I’d rather be not enough after all.
Thank God Jesus cares about the “not enoughs.”
He’s different.
Rejected.
Mocked.
Critiqued.
Despised.
Disliked.
He journeyed.
He fought.
He cared.
For “not enoughs” like me.
I’ll never reach the “enough” bar.
But maybe I’m not supposed to.
I guess being a not enough is enough after all.
Because He is enough for me.
Aww, Katja! Beautiful and very vulnerable post. I believe that as you grow and mature in your walk with Jesus, those negative things will alter. I too used to be the things you described and still am a few of those because I am still growing. Here for you always, Kats! You are so valuable to God (and to me) and I know you’ll get through whatever you are facing. He is FOR YOU! ❤
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Thank you, dear!!! Love you!!!
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Btw, this is my new account. It’s still me. 😉
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🥰🥰🤗🤗
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And love you too! ❤
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Wow. So relatable and powerful. You really summarized the whole “good enough” thing but with the truth of the gospel — that Christ is enough FOR us. Thanks for sharing this!!
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Thank you 💙 I’m glad you enjoyed!
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I loved reading this! We’re very different in terms of our personalities and the ways we consider ourselves to be “not enough,” but I think this is something everyone relates to because as human beings, we are so LACKING. We are so EMPTY without Christ. And gosh, do I EVER need Him to wipe out the Kell and replace it with Him!
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Thank you! I’m glad you related. Yes… it’s so true!! 💙💙💙
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